Friday, August 29, 2008

How it all began

You all know by now that I am up for almost any new adventure - any opportunity to experience first hand something that I have never experienced before...but I think I may have taken on a little bit much this time...

Our trip to Costa Rica is well-chronicled by now - the stories are already getting bigger than I remember them...:)) Well, I do remember some fairly strenuous activities that we did...I absolutely loved the canyoneering experience - combining rappeling that I love with the water and waterfalls that have long put a big smile on my face...the need to get your head together to face the first 165 foot drop...the exhiliration as you pushed through the water into the unknown - each drop different for each person as you pushed off and couldn't predict your landing spot...

Well, the part that really hurt was the 1000 foot climb out of the slot canyon...everyone else in the group was in their 20's...Kent, Gary and I have long since seen that age...

I remember several times stopping thinking that I was not going to be able to get my next breath....but if you stopped - the fire ants would light up your legs like the Fourth of July...so I just kept climbing out...

There were numerous times we were doing physical things probably beyond what we should have been expected to do - but you just have to understand the nature of the group I am with - this is not friendly competition necessarily - this is a curiosity and sense of true adventure mixed with the mental aspects of facing challenges...

All that being said, I returned home from Costa Rica exhilirated and full of life...I thought.

Sue was watching me closely and began to observe a repeat of my behavior before the first heart attack three years ago...waking up tired...taking a nap when I came home...a general slowness in the things that I did...she talked to me, begged me to see the doctor, whatever - I think I really scared her this time...

Why not compete in the family 5K, instead of just driving the kids around the course as in past years? Why not climb up to "The Cross" at the west end of Simi Valley when the organizer calls? So what if it hurts a little? You can do it, and that's the important part!

Well, after about a month after returning from our trip a strange thing started to happen to my body. I was out of breath all the time...it started being noticeable at work when I would climb the stairs to go to meetings, etc. I would get to the top of the stairs and my legs would be burning like they didn't have enough oxygen. My heart seemed to race a bit and my breathing would be very labored...but, if I stood there for a minute, things returned to normal. I find it somewhat ironic that the company that I work for, United Technologies, owns Otis elevator company - and yet I work in a building that does not have a working elevator...That, along with the fact that all meetings and working areas of Information Technology is located on the second floors of buildings around the plant. So stair climbing is part of everyday.

Things just got progressively worse with the breathing thing - but I never told anyone...just "monitored the situation"....

Sue goes off to Texas to be with Sharalyn for her birthday. She is really concerned because things are not adding up correctly - even while she is in Texas she has Steven checking in on me - sometimes hourly. On a Thursday night I let her know that I think that "something is not right"...she pleads with me to call my cardiologist...I've never really listened to this pleading before, and I wasn't going to start now! Not that I don't love Sue - I love her with all my heart and more...but sometimes I "just monitor the situation"...

On Friday morning I go to work - all the while seeing what happens when I go up the stairs....Well, things weren't getting better! I barely made it to the top - I knew this was more serious than I first thought...I made plans to leave work right away - put my things in order as fast as I could - appointed someone to act for me while I was gone - put my important papers from work - my things to do list - in my briefcase to work on from home... :))

I said goodbye to everyone and sent out a final email with a reference to a "medical issue" that I had to deal with...I had a feeling inside that I wouldn't be coming back for a while. At Kaiser you can't just walk in to the ER and complain of chest pains or shortness of breath and not be admitted for at least 72 hours - experienced this before...Several caring people wanted to drive me home or call the ambulance for me - but I am a good actor! I faked them out! After my laptop was carried to the car to lighten my load I waved goodbye and then leaned against the car with my chest heaving - after I was sure that they were out of sight...

Now, to just get home and deal with what I was sure was an impendign heart attack!

Sue alerted Shannon to pick me up as soon as I arrived home...She was quick - Thanks, Jared for watching the little one at that moment. Shannon appeared very calm and efficient as we took off for the hospital in Woodland Hills...I don't really remember leaning over and sucking the air conditioning air out of the Hummer vent...Later Shannon mentioned this to me and I wondered what must have been going through her head at that time...When we arrived at the Woodland Hills facility I chose to walk across the entire parking lot - don't know why, but I did...almost made it across - well, maybe made it 2/3 across the lot before I had to stop and catch my breath...again, wonder what that was like for Shannon?

Now we are at the ER entrance and Shannon is explaining the situation to the lady in the glass booth...they don't waste any time with you at this point, and so, we are now on a bed being tested by a Russian woman who explains that it is up to her whether I go back out the front door, or head into the bowels of the hospital to be processed. After a quick EKG she explains that the bowels look like a better option for me ... :))

I think I will pick this up tomorrow - but I sure what to get each wonderful detail down on paper so that I can be reminded that "monitoring the situation" should be left to trained professionals, not ego-driven macho guys who won't give - no matter what!

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