Friday, September 12, 2008

World Land Speed Record

We're living in the San Fernando Valley...Valley surfers!

In our early teens and skateboarding is what we do...mind you, this is not the shaped board, poly wheel, tungsten truck type skateboarding, this is skateboarding in its infancy.

This is the get yourself a piece of wood, any piece of wood - find your old skates (you remember, the ones made of metal with the toe and heel pieces that you put on your shoes and tried to stay upright) and proceed to peel the wheel assembly from the rest of the skates. Good, now you have the wheels and the wood (By the way, don't worry about the shape of the wood, although rectangular would be nice)...

Now, hammer some nails to attach the two and you are ready to go...metal wheels were difficult to master - they tended to slip around a lot - limited your tricks! Rails? Are you kidding?? Jumps? For idiots! You simply tried to stay on the sucker!!!

An attempt had been made while we lived in Culver City, much earlier. Sort of like the Wright Brothers and those that followed...

My Brother Kent was selected to attempt a small hill around the corner from our home...we found the perfect piece of wood, a 2 x 6 seem to be our preference, and attached the metal wheels to the plank. Kent estimates that the wood was probably about 6 feet long - he would have only used about 3 feet of it... :))

Well, Kent was selected to steer our pilot attempt...he took off and rode on his stomach down the hill...gained pretty good speed and then was confronted with the prospect of the intersection in front of him - with no braking mechanism other than throwing your arms and legs to the ground...not much chance when you are little...

Well, he could have tried to grab the street sign pole, but that didn't happen...instead, Kent launched himself into the crosswalk on his stomach, invisible to cars and moving very rapidly...he made it all the way across the street and stopped abruptly against the curb on the other side...painful slivers in his stomach proved that the stop was abrupt!

The point had been made and proven! The skateboard had held up under the trying conditions of Culver Hill...

Well, one afternoon I was reading the latest Surfer Magazine and noticed a small article in the back of the magazine which reported that someone had set a new speed record for skateboards...35 miles per hour!

Only 35 miles per hour??? Nothing!!!!!

My brother and I went to work immediately with our plan...we found ourselves an eight foot length of 2 x 6 wood...perfect! Next we needed all the metal skate wheels that we could get our hands on...scoured the neighborhood and got about 4 pairs of skates...nobody really wanted the things anyway...

We took the wheels off the skates and prepared the World Record Holder Skateboard with skate wheel after skate wheel...the thing looked like a centipede!

The amazing thing is that the board actually rode pretty straight! It was about twice as long as we were, but it was pretty straight...

Now, for the plan to come together...summer day...parents not home...we start carrying the beast to the Land Speed Record location...Woodley Hill...some day they will probably mark the spot with a bronze memorial (On this date the world land speed record for skateboards was broken by the Hambly boys...something like that)....

Woodley Hill, for those of you not familiar with the area, is located across the street from the VA Hospital in Mission Hills/Sepulveda/whatever they call the area...it's a steep hill - and long...perfect for our needs...

We arrive and prepare for the attempt. No helmets in those days! No elbow or knee pads, no protection at all!

Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready!! (Interestingly, no way to record our speed either...that will have to wait until we can get a parent to come home to verify the attempt - after we perfect the technique!)

I push off and start down the hill...slow at first, gentle slope down...

Whoa, gaining speed quickly now...cracks in the sidewalk are starting to make the board jump a bit...faster, faster...

Now at some point I am aware that I am going really fast! The cracks in the sidewalk start to feel like canyons - remember, there are no shock absorbers on this baby! Takes everything I had just to keep the thing on the sidewalk!!

Houses are whizzing by now...I remember a lot of ivy on the right - the whole side of the hill leading up to people's houses...only problem, they have sprinkler heads in the ivy - that could get nasty real fast!

By this time I can see the bottom of the hill...Not many options if I should get that far down the hill...Remembering Kent's splinters and the street crossing...things didn't look good...

Never really had to use any options...at about the time I was making plans - the board is behaving so violently that I am looking at bail-out opportunities instead...it was like riding a bucking bronco that wanted to throw me...the metal wheels were sparking furiously and starting to come apart from the intense friction of the sidewalk!!

Abort! abort!...probably going about a 100 miles per hour now (probably 10 miles an hour :))!

Took the ivy option and said goodbye to the World Land Speed Skateboard as I disappeared into the hill of ivy...saw the board heading down the hill and certain death...

I managed to escape with only major cuts and bruises...but alive! The board would need extensive work to repair - and a new rider!

Surfer Magazine would have to wait for someone else to break that stupid record...the Hamblys Skateboard Racing Team was now officially through...

1 comment:

Gary said...

I can see you having the idea. I've had ideas. the rest of the story is sort of outside my area.
Hmm. Wish i had known you then. there are several things I'd have liked to have seen tried.